Didn’t your mother teach you to eat with your mouth shut? That’s what mine taught me. But there are some people who are otherwise civilized, yet they don’t seem to be able to eat without smacking their lips, making sucking sounds, and making me want to go after them with a butter knife.

I believe this is a hereditary intolerance. One of my children has it, too.

What is the POINT of having a convertible if you’re so afraid of mussing your hair that you have to roll your windows up when the top is down? Is there anything tackier than that? Well, maybe a few things, but that’s right up there, in my book.

Why don’t these people get a car with a sun-roof? Or use lots of hair spray

Every time I see one, I want to shout, “LOSER!!!” at them. But they wouldn’t hear me because their windows are up. Sheesh.

Just plain creepy. I guess if I lived with one, I’d probably grow to like it. But in general I think they look ridiculous. And they’re almost always yappy and obnoxious. Another thing about little dogs is that they’re always underfoot. Yes, I know, big dogs are always underfoot, too. But at least I’m not going to break a dog’s leg if I accidentally end up stepping on it.

Most of the time my (big) dogs know what I mean when I say “Excuse me.” Unfortunately one of them is old and getting pretty deaf, so the other day when I said “Excuse me,” he didn’t move. My momentum caused me to trip over him and skin my knee. Grrrrrr. At least I didn’t break his leg.