I’ve just realized that if I don’t write something daily, I start turning into a nice person. This will never do. My acerbic nature requires daily maintenance.

Any topics, questions, or your own random thoughts can be emailed to me [TheSmartass (at) askthesmartass (dot com)] and I’ll post them (and probably comment on them). Please. I need your help. Down with niceness!

Thank you.

The Smartass

PS: I would post an appropriately smartassed picture, but I’m too tired to look for one.

Many people ask me, “Why do you sleep so late?” The answer is “Because I can, and I want to.” I would like to figure out how to screen calls silently and without having to wake up and make a decision. Maybe callers should be forced to rate the importance of their calls on a scale of 1-10, and the callee can choose the level at which the phone will actually ring and wake them.

Example: I think the only thing important enough to wake me up for is hemorrhaging / appendage ripped off / heart attack and in need of a ride to the hospital. Any of those things would earn a 10. You can wake me up for that. If someone has died, though, let me sleep. They’ll still be dead in the morning.