Didn’t your mother teach you to eat with your mouth shut? That’s what mine taught me. But there are some people who are otherwise civilized, yet they don’t seem to be able to eat without smacking their lips, making sucking sounds, and making me want to go after them with a butter knife.
I believe this is a hereditary intolerance. One of my children has it, too.
Amen to that! Mouth noises make me cringe… I (literally) have to put my fingers in my ears when I hear someone’s mouth smacking away. I’ve thought about putting together some “don’t want to hurt your feelings or anything but…” business cards to hand out to people in those situations. (They would also work for people with offensive body odor and those negligent parents in McDonalds that the Smartass mentioned in the “kids” section…)
Amyberit
21 Aug 08 at 4:51 pm
Just for the record, as soon as I had my first kid running loose in McDonald’s, I realized that the parents there were NOT negligent. So don’t go handing ME one of those business cards.
The Smartass
21 Aug 08 at 4:53 pm
Hey there, this was a really top notch post. I’d like to write like this also - taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I Am lazy and never seem to get something done.
discus breeder
15 May 10 at 2:23 am
Well, laziness doesn’t enter into the Smartass process. Just relax and let your inner Smartass emerge. It’s easy; just takes a little practice (get over the need to have everyone love you).
Once you have started to get on the Smartass track, it will just come naturally.
The Smartass
15 Jun 10 at 11:17 pm